Facing the “public” again

 One of the steps in my rehabilitation program is “re-entry” into society. In other words, having someone feed me in public. For the last year and a half, I have eaten my meals in the privacy of my own room. SSB Unit 58 has a unique set up in which it has its own dining room, so it’s only patients, their families and nursing staff use it.

One day after my recreational therapy, I found I was feeling okay in my wheelchair so I made the decision to have lunch in the dining room instead of my room. I survived. :) 

So begins a new addition to my routine - eating my lunches in the dining room. As my pain tolerance in the wheelchair improved, I added going to the dining room for supper.  As time went on during my admission, my confidence grew in not caring what people were doing around me. Throughout this experience, my sister Kathryn was not far from my mind. She was a person of great inspiration as I had watched her face cancer with grace and strength. February 3, 2017 was 23 years since her passing. Now that I was becoming more medically stable each day, I wanted to do something with my Mom to remember her anniversary. This day, I spent it with my Mom sharing our memories of Kathryn, by going downstairs to the Garden Deli in the SSB at Foothills to have lunch - a chicken burger with fries and a Diet Coke. First time to have fries since getting sick. Admittedly, I initially was feeling self conscious being out in public to eat, but with my Mom by my side it went away soon enough. I realised people weren’t staring at me because I was in a wheelchair with my Mom feeding me. Once I realised that, I just let myself focus on this moment and enjoy it.