Closing another chapter: Selling the house and car
After a year in ICU and with little in the way of movement coming back, could not be in denial anymore - life as I knew it was gone. What was taken from me was my sense of independence. I am now in a situation in which everything I do I am “dependent” on someone else. Relying on someone to take care of my basic needs to doing simple tasks like scratching my nose. No wonder I experienced periods of low moods while in ICU - not something you want to hear at a young age. It took some time doing that “yo-yo” of acknowledging that loss then burying it so I could focus “in the now” and then repeating it again. Being stuck in a room, gives you plenty of time to think of things you have lost; so you can see that yo-yo experience happened a few times during my Hospital stay.
To appreciate my feeling of loss, have to go back to the summer of 2004. Still living at home at 33 years old, began feeling I was ready to venture on my own again. The sudden loss of my sister in 1994 took a long time for me to recover and then I got comfortable being in my safety net of living at home with familiar surroundings. During that time took advantage of not paying rent and traveled overseas (Europe and UK), enjoying the adventures. By summer 2004 I began feeling it was ready to make a change, but didn’t know what that was. August long weekend, I knew what direction to begin taking - it was time to leave Thunder Bay and venture on my own. I had applied for a full time coding specialist position focusing on inpatient coding. Unfortunately, the manager had decided on another person without doing a coding test or interview. Of course, my manager had left for her summer holidays, so after speaking with the assistant manager it was clear to me, I will not be able to advance my career here. That afternoon I went to the Calgary Health Region website about job opportunities; and there were 3 full time positions in coding. Couldn’t ask for a bigger sign than that! I applied that moment explaining in my cover letter that I was coming to Calgary in September and I would do an interview and/or coding test. I did the coding test when I was visiting friends in September. Then had to be patient - it took 12 applications and 6 months I got my interview for a coding position at Foothills Hospital. And so began my gaining my independence back.
Arriving to Calgary on March 10, 2005 eager to make a fresh start with unknown possibilities in both my personal and professional life. By September 15, 2005 (2 days shy of my 35th birthday) I signed the contract to purchase my first home which I will be the original owner. Construction completed and I moved in June 14, 2006. Sounds silly, but I had the feeling of excitement feeling of being able to stand on my own two feet - the sense of being independent. Over the next 11 years, that feeling of independence solidified personally, and professionally if felt like doors opened wide and I flew. Started as an outpatient coder to an inpatient coder to having an opportunity to participate 2 national reabstracting projects with our national database organization and finally becoming a coding coordinator. Not to say there weren’t bumps along the way, but each experience I gained not only knowledge I gained confidence in myself personally and professionally.
Here I now lie in my hospital bed and then my new “home” at Skypointe nursing home, having lost all of that independence and confidence in myself having to really start from scratch again. The question I need to ask myself - what independence can I get from a dependent situation? Making choices for me was a start which was gaining some financial security as the future is full of unknowns. The second thought - my mom has stuck by me for 2 years coming to the hospitals and Skypointe every day, despite recovering from her own treatments of metastatic breast cancer to the sacrum which came back January 2016 (just 9 months before I was stricken with GBS). I am medically stable and settling into my new place until I recover time to think ahead. No denying it - I will not be able to go back to my home plus I cannot have my mom to stay with me indefinitely. My feeling her life is in Thunder Bay, activities she enjoys plus her wonderful circle of friends too. My mom was needing to be back home for appointments in September; couldn’t ask for a better time to make the decision to put my house up for sale. The house went up for sale and 7 weeks later, I was given an offer for my house, which I accepted. September 6, 2018 - my mom ventured forward, me in Calgary and my mom in Thunder Bay. My first towards a newfound of independence.
On October 19, I closed the chapter on my finding my self-confidence and learning own self in that journey of becoming an independent single woman by the sell of my house and car. I now need to begin a new chapter of regaining the feeling of independence and self-confidence back. With the support of my family and friends, my hope is will find them again.
To appreciate my feeling of loss, have to go back to the summer of 2004. Still living at home at 33 years old, began feeling I was ready to venture on my own again. The sudden loss of my sister in 1994 took a long time for me to recover and then I got comfortable being in my safety net of living at home with familiar surroundings. During that time took advantage of not paying rent and traveled overseas (Europe and UK), enjoying the adventures. By summer 2004 I began feeling it was ready to make a change, but didn’t know what that was. August long weekend, I knew what direction to begin taking - it was time to leave Thunder Bay and venture on my own. I had applied for a full time coding specialist position focusing on inpatient coding. Unfortunately, the manager had decided on another person without doing a coding test or interview. Of course, my manager had left for her summer holidays, so after speaking with the assistant manager it was clear to me, I will not be able to advance my career here. That afternoon I went to the Calgary Health Region website about job opportunities; and there were 3 full time positions in coding. Couldn’t ask for a bigger sign than that! I applied that moment explaining in my cover letter that I was coming to Calgary in September and I would do an interview and/or coding test. I did the coding test when I was visiting friends in September. Then had to be patient - it took 12 applications and 6 months I got my interview for a coding position at Foothills Hospital. And so began my gaining my independence back.
Arriving to Calgary on March 10, 2005 eager to make a fresh start with unknown possibilities in both my personal and professional life. By September 15, 2005 (2 days shy of my 35th birthday) I signed the contract to purchase my first home which I will be the original owner. Construction completed and I moved in June 14, 2006. Sounds silly, but I had the feeling of excitement feeling of being able to stand on my own two feet - the sense of being independent. Over the next 11 years, that feeling of independence solidified personally, and professionally if felt like doors opened wide and I flew. Started as an outpatient coder to an inpatient coder to having an opportunity to participate 2 national reabstracting projects with our national database organization and finally becoming a coding coordinator. Not to say there weren’t bumps along the way, but each experience I gained not only knowledge I gained confidence in myself personally and professionally.
Here I now lie in my hospital bed and then my new “home” at Skypointe nursing home, having lost all of that independence and confidence in myself having to really start from scratch again. The question I need to ask myself - what independence can I get from a dependent situation? Making choices for me was a start which was gaining some financial security as the future is full of unknowns. The second thought - my mom has stuck by me for 2 years coming to the hospitals and Skypointe every day, despite recovering from her own treatments of metastatic breast cancer to the sacrum which came back January 2016 (just 9 months before I was stricken with GBS). I am medically stable and settling into my new place until I recover time to think ahead. No denying it - I will not be able to go back to my home plus I cannot have my mom to stay with me indefinitely. My feeling her life is in Thunder Bay, activities she enjoys plus her wonderful circle of friends too. My mom was needing to be back home for appointments in September; couldn’t ask for a better time to make the decision to put my house up for sale. The house went up for sale and 7 weeks later, I was given an offer for my house, which I accepted. September 6, 2018 - my mom ventured forward, me in Calgary and my mom in Thunder Bay. My first towards a newfound of independence.
On October 19, I closed the chapter on my finding my self-confidence and learning own self in that journey of becoming an independent single woman by the sell of my house and car. I now need to begin a new chapter of regaining the feeling of independence and self-confidence back. With the support of my family and friends, my hope is will find them again.
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