Casendra

I never did met that special someone to share my life with me. My brother and his wife did not have any children, so never thought I could become an “auntie”. I was so wrong in my thinking. I have some dear friends who are actually more than friends - they are my sisters, they have made me feel a part of their family. Through this, I have become “auntie “ to their children. What a honour and blessing they all have been to me. So many cherished memories from when they were newborns to young adults.  Watching over the years as they developed their personalities and how they interact with one another. Their cute sayings and being blunt (saying it as they see it), their wonderful hugs and when they were babies sleeping so peacefully on my chest or shoulders. As they become teenagers, watching how they are figuring out what is important to them and figuring out their future goals and dreams.

My friend, Sara Paterson’s daughter Casendra, I have known her since she was a newborn, born in Feb 2008. As I was living in Calgary by then, I spent many a weekend up in Three Hills visiting with the Paterson family. Enjoying my cuddles with Casendra, those precious moments of her falling asleep on my chest after her feeding. When Casendra was a toddler, she had a cute reaction when her uncles would tease her - if she sees me, she would come to me, stand between my legs and then turn around for me to pick it up. So adorable, wish we had taken a video of it. 

Casendra is almost 13 years old now. I love her homemade birthday cards with beautiful drawings and/or sayings within the cards. Since my diagnosis of GBS, Casendra has given me such warm and thoughtful cards. In these cards, she has shared her faith with me by giving me scriptures that has been on her heart to give to me. These mean so much to me. The scriptures she chooses are perfect in timing, just to be reminded that God is always there for me and to keep my faith as God is always with me. Simply, I am not facing these difficult times on my own. 

The two verses Casendra has given to me are:

Psalms 34:18

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

One little sentence, but powerful in faith. Even though I have been broken physically and my spirit (faith) crushed by being diagnosed with Guillian Barre Syndrome - I am reminded by this verse, that I am not facing this alone. My God is near providing me with His love, comfort and healing. 

Zephaniah 3:16-17

On that day they will say to Jerusalem,

“Do not fear, Zion; do not let your hands hang limp.

The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.

He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you,

but will rejoice over you with singing.”

The words, “do not let your hands hang limp.” speaks to me. As the reality of my situation of total paralysis becomes sharper, one thing I have always said - even while lying in my ICU bed - I can adapt to not being able to walk again, all I want is my hands to work again. Seeing how my body has been healing thus far, I would be happy if my right arm/hand/fingers would be able to work somewhat properly. It would be able to lift my left hand to help it function with doing things too. 

Casendra has a big heart and shares her kindness - it just warms my heart. You are beautiful inside and out. Thank you for loving me Casendra. I love you very much too.