Remembering my sister Kathryn: 25 years later

25 years ago - on February 3, 1994, my life changed forever. A piece of me was taken from me. My sister Kathryn at 21 years old passed away suddenly. Her death, as expected, was devastating for my family and all those who loved her too. We were sisters, but best friends too. She missed by many.

Going through my own health crisis, recovering from Guillian Barre Syndrome (GBS), I think of Kathryn often and think of what encouragement she would say to me. When she was 14 she was diagnosed with Osteogenic Sarcoma of the humerus bone (same cancer of Canada’s hero - Terry Fox). They were able to save her left arm the first time but when she relapsed about 1.5 years later, they couldn’t save her arm this time plus microscopic hot spots were found in her thoracic spine. She had to face 2 major surgeries within a month - one was the total amputation of her left arm (including the shoulder joint) and the second surgery was the removal of her T9 vertebrae, with the bottom of T8 and the top of T10. Then using rods, screws and the woman’s floating rib, they reconstructed her spine. From what I remember being told she was like the 5th child in Canada to have this procedure performed (1988). Throughout her journey to beat cancer not once but twice was simply amazing. At 16 years old, she showed me the importance of patience, determination, being positive and leaning on your faith for strength.

Kathryn showed us having a disability is not always a disadvantage. It might change your path, but you can still find joy in your life. Kathryn was into athletics and was known in the city of Thunder Bay for her running. She is even a part of the logo for September Heart of Thunder Bay Run along with our close family friend Jackie Tangness. I am sure it was difficult to hear she may never run again. Once recovered and healed from her back surgery she proved to everyone not let negativity prevent you from embracing your life. Not only did Kathryn gain the ability to run again, she represented Canada in the 1992 Barcelona ParOlympic Games in swimming.

As Kathryn was finishing high school and knew she wanted to be a teacher, like our dad and brother Bruce, she did a co-op at the Confederation College daycare centre. I remember her telling me this story. Some days she would wear her arm prosthetic and some days she didn’t. One of the children asked why she had an arm today but not yesterday - she explained what happened and that some days she didn’t like to wear as it was uncomfortable. When my sister died, our old neighbor as well as Kathryn’s high school guidance counsellor gave my parents a photo of Kathryn with two of the kids. It’s a beautiful photo - a wonderful moment captured forever.

Now as I face my unknown future and remembering Kathryn especially today; I take strength of the example she showed me when she faced her health crisis. When something like cancer or GBS changes the direction of the life, we should try not to be sad because there could be special cherished memories/moments we would have missed if we didn’t take this road. Miss you Kathryn. Miss you singing one of you favourite songs - the Christian version of Bette Midler’s The Rose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc