Playing the “What if...” game
When you face a challenge or you find yourself at a crossroad, after making the decision you see the outcome; and then you play the “What if...” game with yourself. I know I played this game when my sister Kathryn died. “Was I a good sister?” Or “What if I did this?” Or “What if I did that?” would Kathryn still be here.
No surprise, I found myself lately play the “What if...” game with my GBS recovery. Understanding in my past dealing with bullying, I kept my feelings inside. I then do something silly, like stub my toe, and I would explode crying over something that occurred months earlier. Through my counselling (2009-2011/12), I learned it was important to acknowledge the feelings not to hide them away, the lesson is not to dwell on those feelings.
I acknowledge my “What if...” statements but tell myself that I can’t them but I can learn from them moving forward (living in the present and looking forward to the future.
“What if I didn’t go to Extreme Pita on Sept 2 for the chicken wrap? Would I still contract the virus which contributes getting Guillian Barre Syndrome (GBS)?”
- “What if I had the chicken wrap but no stomach flu for 5 days, would I still get GBS?”
- “If I didn’t get myself so rundown, deleting my immune system; would the severity of my GBS case be so severe?”
- “Why me? What am I to learn from dealing with this disease?”
- “What if I started massage therapy earlier than I did?”
- “What if I started physiotherapy in the fall of 2018? Would I be further ahead in my recovery?”
- “What if I was told about South Health Campus’ Neuromuscular Rehabilitation Clinic in September 2018? Would my recovery progress be more ahead than where I am now?”
- “What if I didn’t go to the GBS afternoon education session in September 2018? I would never had met Dr. Chris White from SHC Neuromuscular Rehabilitation Clinic who recommended my GP send a referral to the clinic.” (Now through this clinic, I have a neurologist, occupational therapist and a physiotherapist)
As you see, so many questions and most have hypothetical answers as I can’t change the past to change my outcome. As the saying goes, “Stay calm and carry on”.
No surprise, I found myself lately play the “What if...” game with my GBS recovery. Understanding in my past dealing with bullying, I kept my feelings inside. I then do something silly, like stub my toe, and I would explode crying over something that occurred months earlier. Through my counselling (2009-2011/12), I learned it was important to acknowledge the feelings not to hide them away, the lesson is not to dwell on those feelings.
I acknowledge my “What if...” statements but tell myself that I can’t them but I can learn from them moving forward (living in the present and looking forward to the future.
“What if I didn’t go to Extreme Pita on Sept 2 for the chicken wrap? Would I still contract the virus which contributes getting Guillian Barre Syndrome (GBS)?”
- “What if I had the chicken wrap but no stomach flu for 5 days, would I still get GBS?”
- “If I didn’t get myself so rundown, deleting my immune system; would the severity of my GBS case be so severe?”
- “Why me? What am I to learn from dealing with this disease?”
- “What if I started massage therapy earlier than I did?”
- “What if I started physiotherapy in the fall of 2018? Would I be further ahead in my recovery?”
- “What if I was told about South Health Campus’ Neuromuscular Rehabilitation Clinic in September 2018? Would my recovery progress be more ahead than where I am now?”
- “What if I didn’t go to the GBS afternoon education session in September 2018? I would never had met Dr. Chris White from SHC Neuromuscular Rehabilitation Clinic who recommended my GP send a referral to the clinic.” (Now through this clinic, I have a neurologist, occupational therapist and a physiotherapist)
As you see, so many questions and most have hypothetical answers as I can’t change the past to change my outcome. As the saying goes, “Stay calm and carry on”.
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