Have you ever wondered what dreams mean? I would love to know what my wild dreams are to reflect. I was in darkness other than small moments of drifting to the present to hear Dr. Zuege say “Let me see that smile.” or hearing my mom say “I don’t know she is doing that, I can’t even do that.” This was in reference to me raising my eyebrows as that was the only way to communicate. My darkness lasted about 6 weeks from my admission and during this time I had the weirdest dreams. Weird, but there was a theme. I was represented as a cow and there was a BBQ involved. Growing up I was a shy person with self-esteem and self-confidence issues, so one dream had me at a BBQ and I obviously did not fit in with the crowd. Next thing I knew, I was being prepared for the BBQ! The crowd was teasing/bullying me which hurt me and I didn’t know why I was being treated this way. So I prayed to God to be there with me as I felt hurt and scared. I closed my eyes for the pain to stop. A pe...
Today (September 10) marks 3 years since my life undeniably changed forever. This day I was in ICU on life support fighting to stay alive. Not knowing they journey I would have to face if I survived. Fortunate or not, the next 6 weeks I do not remember the battles I had to face - having a cardiac arrest because of severe bradycardia (slow heart rate), pneumonia, blood clots and of course paralysis from head to toe. It is through sharing with my mom and friends who were there filling me in what all occurred. Heart goes out to my mom who had bear witness to all of it but grateful for my friends who were there for me and supported my mom too. A moment in time, that Friday night after a long day in the office, I went out to buy my supper at Extreme Pita for a chicken bacon ranch pita. Who knew undercooked chicken would be the catalyst, giving me food poisoning and the stomach flu; then numbness and inability to walk a week later. How does that happen so fast? It took me a few week...
It was difficult to hear everything around me but struggle in communicating and basically lying flat on the bed. I couldn’t tell you how many times I would have tears and I struggled to say why. As one could expect it was tough absorbing the fact that in a matter of weeks I went from a walking able-body person to basically a quadriplegic person. Hearing from the doctors that this was the worst case of GBS they have seen and the recovery will be long and slow. How do you not get angry and frustrated by this situation? Well one night that is exactly what I did. We were struggling to get my arm into the hospital gown. I became frustrated and angry and next thing I know it, I felt a release as I helped push my arm into the gown sleeve. This is when it sunk in that my shoulders were coming alive. Yay! with my shoulders I could move my arm up and down!! I should try to get mad more often. Maybe I will prove the doctors wrong and my recovery will be quicker than they predicted. Hands ...
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